palmerwriter (palmerwriter) wrote,

Tales from the Day Job

Just a few snippets from the past week. Enjoy.

“Yes sir, I understand you’re upset that the crew who came out to replace our transformer pulled up your prized, $25 plant in order to reach said transformer, and didn’t leave a note, send advanced warning that we were coming out to service OUR OWN PROPERTY and didn’t attempt to replant said expensive flower in another location, but please understand that our crew people are not gardeners. It is not their job to relocate plants that you plunked down in violation of our polices, in a vain attempt to cover up a green metal box you find “unattractive”. Please also be aware that “unattractive” is a relative term, especially when applied to conspicuous metal boxes, as witnessed by the giant HumVee Penis Extension with the interior room of the TARDIS currently creating a rain shadow in your driveway.”

“Sir, while I am perfectly willing and able to assist you in disconnecting the service your wife apparently unwittingly requested, I am completely at a loss as to why she was told we could not connect said service, and sent her to another company. That simply isn’t our procedure. Are you sure she was calling the right company?”

“No sir, I am not calling your wife an idiot (not overtly), but given the many different utilities and other services that must be called and connected when moving to a new location, not to mention the shear number of our customers who call us to turn on their phone, who want us to come out and fix their TV when their favorite channel goes snowy during Jerry Springer, and who seem utterly incapable of performing simple tasks such as basic arithmetic, holding conversations, and converting oxygen into carbon dioxide, not to MENTION the fact that your account was set up for the new service without any problem, don’t you think it’s at least a little possible that your wife may have gotten the conversation she had with the other customer service rep just a tad askew?”
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