User Profile

The scion of a Latvian potentate, James Palmer knew at an early age that he was destined for greatness. However, a rare tribble allergy kept him from a promising career in Starfleet, and he was denied membership in the Green Lantern Corps due to his inordinately large knuckles. So James has instead settled on a career in writing because, as Terry Pratchett said, it's indoor work with no heavy lifting.

Losing the use of both eyebrows in a tragic pogo stick accident, James traveled the world, from Timbuktu to Topeka, honing his considerable talents and working in a variety of menial jobs, from a fish monger, to a chili cook in a shelter for homeless mimes.

His rise to stardom began when he became front man and theremin player for the world-renowned goth ska band Hitler Fetish, whose debut album That's Not My Mojo just went platinum. Nowadays, James routinely battles ignorance and injustice from a vast, subterranean grotto as the cowled, Arkham, Massachusetts vigilante Night Gaunt. His latest adventure, in which he foiled a neo-Nazi plot to replace the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System with robotic duplicates, won him the Congressional Medal of Honor, the Hugo Award, the Nobel Peace Prize, and the Aquanaut merit badge from the Boy Scouts of America. James's hobbies include reading more than is good for him, and building a scale replica of Olympus Mons out of papier-mache in his back yard. James is currently touring New Hampshire with his one-man show, Orson Welles on Ice.

But seriously,

James Palmer is a native of Gainesville, Georgia, where he lives with his wife Kelley and Chihuahua Maggie. He has written articles, essays, and reviews and poetry for the defunct SciFiNow.com, as well as RevolutionSF, Strange Horizons, Every Writer, and the poetry magazine Scifaikuest. He also writes a movie column entitled "Barium Cinema" for the print magazine Continuum Science Fiction. When not writing creatively, he works as a customer service representative for Sawnee Electric Membership Corporation and as an independent contractor for Agito Consulting, where he coauthored the business books Networking Like A Pro! and How to Overachieve W/O Overcommitting He has a B.A. in English from North Georgia College and State University. For more examples of his work, please visit his website

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